A Take Away Show - Alt J
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Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
I could promise to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in health. I could say ’till death do us part. But I won’t. Those vows are for optimistic couples. The ones full of hope. And I do not stand here, on my wedding day, optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful. I am sure, I am steady, and I know. I am a heart man: I take them apart, I put them back together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, my heart, beats for you. And on this day, the day of my wedding, I promise you this: I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hand. I promise you ME.
Reason
today the sun faded away. i had expected it’s demise for some time now, but for some reason, it shocked me, regardless. a current of fear and bitterness ran through every inch of my body, beginning at my heart and ending at every extremity. My blood began running colder, and with every new second, the temperature decreased. My vision of the past and present became fuzzy, black and white particles of some life once lived, yet surely not my own. My blood ran thin and I became weaker and weaker with each moment passed. The death of time was near. Through the haze and darkness I saw only one light. A smile in the dark. Everything was fuzzy but this, so vivid and secure. A smile saying it would be alright. As reassuring as the smile was I couldn’t find the right place for it. God knows where it came from, or why it was there. It just was, and for some reason, I knew it always would be. Time died away and the earth turned to ice. The temperature dropped to absolute zero and all that was left succumbed to the torture of eternal ice. There I was, alone and cold, but something about that smile. It warmed me, kept me alive. Barely there, something like floating, I walked the tight rope of reality and dreams… or was it life and death? All I know is that your smile saved me. My body nearly asleep, I made my way towards you, slowly but surely. You began to move my way as well, as if you knew I couldn’t make it alone. And I never would have. You met me on the edge of the earth with your calming embrace. All of the blood in my body drained but simultaneously refilled with yours. I had never felt safer, assured, that everything would work itself out. Your eyes fixed on mine, our hearts beating as one. The shards of memories I had lost piece themselves together one by one, but somehow through you, they became more complete. The fear and absurdity of the past 19 years faded away and was replaced by a feeling so overwhelmingly beautiful that I can’t describe it. The world broke down around us, leaving you and I, emotions haywire, in a stupid parking lot, bodies intertwined on the cold black pavement.
- Pippin van Wijk
Trust is a difficult thing, whether it’s finding the right people to trust or trusting the right people to do the wrong thing. But trusting your heart is the riskiest thing of all. In the end that you can truly trust is ourselves.
